Why Other People Have it Together and You Don’t


My zodiac sign is Cancer. Allegedly, we are said to be sensitive creatures. When I first learned that about my sign, I thought to myself, “Well, this is just a load of crap. I am not sensitive.”

Nope, not me. Sensitive skin? Maybe. Tendencies to romanticize situations? Possibly. Overwhelmed by large crowds? Sure. A deep ache when thinking of the world’s problems? Okay. But does all of that really make me sensitive?

Why, yes it does, Nikki. And yes it does for you, too, my beloved reader. I bet you’re sensitive, because we people find each other. In fact, I have an entire family full of our kind!

So, here’s the deal about our kind. Life just doesn’t feel easy for us. We are not okay with the mediocre. We need to feel good in order to wake up in the morning, if not, life just seems wrong.

As sensitive souls, we are natural seekers. We are constantly seeking truth. Not only truth from others, but our own truth, as well.

What does that mean? We’re not okay with settling. Sticking to a whatever job simply because it pays well just isn’t okay for us. Marrying someone because they are a good person isn’t enough for us. Living life according to the status quo is death to us.

These are all good traits to have, right? But what happens is, we can’t always communicate this well to ourselves or others, which leaves us feeling completely alone.

Because we are sensitive that feeling is so intense that it begins to feel real, as if no one in the world understand us. What happens when we think no one understands us? We retreat into our little warm cocoons where the ugly world cannot touch us.

While that cocoon may feel warm for a bit, it quickly begins to feel like a cage that is trapping us in. Within this cage, our mind swims around and around chaos until we’ve created a world within our mind that has separated ourselves from everyone else. We begin to believe, truly, that other people are totally okay, have it together, and have it all figured out. Us on the other hand? Hot mess. And maybe even without the hot.

But you guys, we created this cocoon/cage, which ultimately left to our seclusion and separation from the rest of the world. I promise you, everyone suffer. Most people do not have their shit together. And there are less people than you thinking judging you.

So, my dear soft friend. Let’s do this. Open up. Come out of the cocoon. Recognize that there are more people who want to love you than there are people who want to hurt you. Acknowledge that you are one of the magical feelers of the world, and that is such a blessing. Embrace your gift. Do not hide it from us.

When you decide to stop hiding, what you will find is the support of others who are on the same boat. But most importantly, you will find your own inner courage.

How to go From Overwhelm to Action in 3

The past few days, I’ve had sessions with several clients who feel stuck and indecisive. Their brains have been going a million miles per second and because of this the anxiety is growing. We’ve all been there, right? In fact, you might be there right now.

Well, maybe their message can help you. The message they received was: it’s time for action.

When we feel stuck and paralyzed in anxiety, it’s because we are functioning way too much from our mind. Meaning, we’re probably doing a lot of the mundane stuff. Like, a job we don’t feel challenged by. Or the domestic must-dos like picking up kids or making meals. Obviously, we can’t just hit the road and leave all our responsibilities behind, which ultimately causes a road block in our head. We’re not sure how we can get from stuck to unstuck without a drastic move.

You don’t need a drastic move. But a lot of the times, our mind can’t wrap itself around that concept, so we have to prep it for change. Rather than take a huge leap, here are a few simple tasks we can do to start prepping ourselves for big action.

1.     Move Your Body

The quickest way to get out of our heads is by getting into our bodies. For some of us, one great yoga class will get us out. But for others, we might have to do several days back-to-back. Even if your mind is running during these workout sessions, notice your thoughts. See what you’ve been telling yourself.

2.     Switch up Your Routine

My friend you are feeling stuck, because you are feeling totally bored! Switch up your routine. Take a new route to work. Have lunch outside. Try a new workout. Have a different meal.

3.     Journal

Lastly, get all that mind junk out of your head and on to paper. The thoughts are going around and around in your mind, because they have no outlet. Give them an outlet. For those of us who have a super active mind (the smarty pants!), journaling every day will be your life line.

Alright, my friend. Please take care of yourself and take the steps. This feeling will not go away unless you do the work that your soul deserves. Much love to you always.


Join Annie Vazquez of The Fashion Poet and Me Live

I love Annie of The Fashion Poet for many reasons. One, for her ability to own her personal style without any apologies. She is who she is. Second, she waits for no one. She does not leave opportunities in the hands of others. She seizes them. And three, she is a spiritual unicorn that sprinkles all her work with deeper meaning.

In honor of her deep side, we’ll be jumping on Facebook Live together tomorrow, July 20th at 7PM EST. I hope you can join, as I’d love to share my friend with you. All you have to do is visit facebook.com/nikkinovo at 7PM EST and you'll see the video running live. Jump on and ask your questions. We'll be ready for you.

How the Outside is a Clue into our Inside

Three years ago when Oliver was born, I was driving around this adorable (read: tiny) hybrid car. It was so “adorable” that Oliver’s car seat only fit in the back when the passenger seat was in a complete upright position — take off style.

Besides the obvious inconvenience of having the passenger seat in this position, this setup also meant the screams of my newborn baby was directly in my ear.

We had to make a vehicle upgrade fast. As a new mom, I was seeking space. And not just in my car, but in my life.  

See, I’m a huge fan of space. Because if we don’t have it, then it’ll be very hard to grow. At the time, not only was my family growing, but I was growing as a person. And what I craved the most was the space to just be. I wasn’t sure what I was becoming, but I knew I needed the permission to grow into whoever that was. I needed the okay to do this without my inner judgments or constraints.  I needed that beautiful space that comes without thought.  

What is brewing on the inside will always coincide with our outside. I absolutely loved my hybrid. It almost felt a part of me. And when I had to give it away, I knew I was also saying goodbye to a part of my life that I loved so dearly. But growth was on the horizon. It was scary. It was the unknown. Yet, it was necessary.

When I found myself in my first SUV, it felt uncomfortable. After all, without knowing it I had been defining myself as someone based off the things I had. And now what I had was a mom car, yet I didn’t even know how to be a mom.  

But you know what that car gave me? That’s right. It gave me space. It gave me something to grow into. And obviously, spiritual growth is not about the material. But the way we live within the things we have is symbolic to our internal environment. Resisting the family car is symbolic to what I felt inside. And then seeking space is also what I was feeling on the inside.

Sometimes it’s not easy to understand what is going on inside, but all we have to do is take a look at what we’re doing on the outside. Those are our clues. It’s not the stuff the matters. It’s how we’re relating to it that does.  

Speaking of cars: While I’m pretty content with what I drive now, it’s my first SUV, which means I’m on the eternal hunt for family-friendly ride. 

Earlier this month we took a family vacation to Southern California. One of the things that excite me about long vacations is driving a new car. Yes, strange of me. So when Mazda offered us the opportunity to test-drive their Mazda CX-5 Grand Touring, we jumped on it.


For starters the CX-5 cost significantly less than what I have at home, yet it has way more offerings. Like way more. A few of my fave options were:

  • The ability to text message through its audio system
  • Pandora integration
  • Side mirrors that beep when a car is in your blind spot
  • Heated side mirrors, which means on foggy days I wouldn’t have to whip out a napkin from my glove compartment
  • Awesome mileage of 25/33 (city/highway)
  • A moonroof
  • Advanced front air bags, front seat-mounted side-impact air bags and side-impact air curtain

Driving-wise it feels like a car, meaning it’s not bulky and drives really smooth. We drove up and down Southern California for seven days and only had to fill up the tank on the sixth day. That was incredible to experience.

The kids were super comfortable. Funny enough, now they want space. They don’t need me smothering them anymore, so they appreciate the space they had, as well.

We packed the trunk with four suitcases, boogie boards, skateboards, and a very unnecessarily large stuffed Nemo (courtesy of Lego Land). Everything fit and we didn’t feel tight.

I mentioned this in my favorite features list, but the car is smart enough o warn you when cars or random objects are too close for comfort. It’ll beep if something is in your blind spot or too close to your front or back. I totally appreciate that.

For being an affordable SUV, the inside felt very luxurious. It has all the blue-tooth, hands-free, entertainment you’d ever want. The snob in me appreciates that, too.

To see more pictures from our vacay, check out my Instagram feed. And if you have any questions about the Mazda, feel free to shoot me an email.

Much love to you always. 



4 Steps to Making More Confident Decisions


Have you ever sat in overwhelm not able to make any choices simply because you’re afraid of making the wrong choice? You guys, it’s a real thing.

A lot of the times we don’t make choices or we flip-flop on the ones we have made because we’re afraid of getting it wrong. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but yeah, you’re a practicing perfectionist. And I can only call you out because I am a recovering perfectionist, which means, I too, have these tendencies.

Perfectionism is the devil. Ugh, I hate it. But let’s think about why we strive to be perfect. First off, we want to appear perfect or produce perfect because we want those who are watching us to then think that we are, um, perfect. Meaning, we’re looking for outside validation. Somewhere in our perfect, little mind we believe that we are only worthy of love if someone outside of us tells us so — preferably with clapping and chants of “You are so perfect!”

I call bullshit. We are looking for gold stars from other people who themselves are just as perfectly imperfect as we are. In other words, they’re on our same level, my friend. Even if these people have “accomplished” more, making them seem superior, they are not. We are all made of the same stuff.

Of course, we do this to protect ourselves. We’re trying to stay safe. Because if we make a less-than-perfect decision, we risk feeling rejected, worthless, or less-than.

Get Past Perfect

So, step number one is to get over perfect. Understand that whoever you are or whatever you are putting out is divinely perfect in this moment. It is supposed to come out of you right now.

Take a Leap

The only way to get better at decision making or doing is through practice. You have to do it over and over again to learn your own process. This is how we get to know ourselves and our intuition. Trial and error, my love.

My husband is one of the most curious humans I know. One thing he loves to do is take things apart. Apparently he would do this as a kid. He starts taking apart full engines without knowing if he’s going to actually be able to put it back together. I once asked him how he has the balls to take it apart without really knowing if it’s going to work out. His response? “Nikki, I love figuring out what’s wrong with it so I can fix it.”

Enjoy the Figuring Out Process

My husband knows that it’s not going to be perfect on the first try and maybe even not the tenth. But he does know we have to start somewhere. And after we start we will use all the resources we have — anything from YouTube to experts — to figure shit out. 

So after we make a choice, we must trust that we will figure it out. We will receive feedback or “fix” our choice. Eventually, we will get it right. But there is no way we could make the absolute perfect decision every time that will lead to a perfect outcome.

Honestly, getting it right every time is boring. If we can look at our lives as a science project, we would enjoy it more. Scientists aren’t attached to a prediction. They’re super interested in how it all unfolds. They know nothing is guaranteed. They enjoy testing and tweaking.

Get to Know Your Intuition

As we test, tweak, and take notes, we can to learn about how our intuition works. Our souls do know the right answers for us. And I believe we’re always trying to function from that place, but some how we get caught up in the physical. Hence, why we feel torn many of the times when it comes to big decisions.

We’ve spent many years detached from that inner knowing, so it’s going to take time and testing to build that relationship again. As we start to make choices and take note of how we felt when making those choices, and then look at how it turned out, we’ll begin to learn the cues of our compass.

Everyone’s is different. You may get goosebumps when you’re on track. Someone else may get headaches. Some of you may hear or feel. You’ll never know until you start showing interest in the decision/intuition relationship.  Which, I think, is a good decision to make.