I used to be the girl who when asked if she needed help carrying out her grocery bags would say no. I can carry my own damn bags, thank you very much. Yes, I have a baby in one arm, a lost set of keys, and a pinky to push this cart, but I’ll figure it out.
But I’m also the girl who is the first to drop to the floor to help when a stranger spills her purse. I’m a giver. I just want people to feel at peace, so I’ll do my part to make sure that happens.
You, too? I’m not surprised. We givers find each other.
(For the audio version of this blog post CLICK HERE)
A few months back I went to a local spiritual store to get my aura read. Um yeah, that’s a thing. And, it’s pretty amazing. So this adorable fairy-looking lady, who definitely is a descendant of the Peter Pan family, takes a photo of me with a special camera. Out comes an instant photo of me, sitting on a chair, with a burst of color covering my face and head.
Like a pensive doctor about to give you some not-so-great news, she looks at me and says, “My concern is that your aura is off to the side.” My aura is off to the side! What does that mean?! Am I dying?? I'm on my way out, aren't I?
It turns out my aura was trying to tell me I was a little off balance. Meaning, I was giving more than I was receiving. Of course, this is pretty standard when you’re a mom, but my issue was a little deeper.
There was help and gifts around me, but I wasn’t willing to accept them. Why? Well, on some level I felt I wasn’t worthy of them, and on the flip side I felt if I received help then that would make me appear weak. You know… just crazy beliefs we pick up along the way.
The problem with not being able to receive help from the grocery guy is that we are sending a direct signal to the universe letting it know that its gifts—everything from money, love, and career help—are no good around here.
Here’s how you can switch it. First off, start small. Say thank you when people pay you a compliment, and really accept it. A friend recently told me that my website looked beautiful and I told her I couldn’t take credit because it was a Squarespace template. But hold up, I made it. I did! So damn it, Nikki, say thank you and accept.
Secondly, start feeling worthy. And you can do that by not allowing yourself to play the victim role anymore. Everything you see out there that you want, that perhaps other have, is up for grabs. We’re all made of the same stuff, which means we all deserve the same things. Wake up in the morning saying this, “I deserve to have a happy, abundant, peaceful life.” And keep it going throughout the day.
Life has so much to offer us, but we have to be willing to open up our arms and receive with humility. It’s starts with the smallest things — from allowing someone to open the door for us to accepting work at a fair pay rate. After you build the muscle, you’ll have the strength for the big stuff. I want to see you with the big stuff.